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Excerpted from my purple Poppin “Anything Goes” journal on August 31, 2017
Spreading Yourself Too Thin
For once, I’ve decided on a title before having written the entry. I feel as if my creative fountain, my well of inspiration, has gone dry—stagnant even. I try to muster up ideas for content to share on my blog, mailing lists, YouTube, etc., but I feel utterly blocked.
Is it because all those audiences are different? Do they all require different sides of me and my life? Or am I spreading myself too thin and overthinking my interpretations of their expectations?
Is it because, in my efforts to satisfy others, I’ve lost the connection with who I really and really want for myself? Why do I feel I must cater to everyone else’s expectations of me? Why not offer up my pure, authentic self instead of conforming to what Audience A or Audience B wants from me?
Your Authentic Self
I realize that, to an extent, I must cater to the market, but ultimately, don’t people subscribe to my lists, videos, etc., so they can feel the privilege of knowing me and all the faces of who I am; not just the musician, the author, the entrepreneur, etc.? Why then must I feel bound to the labels I’ve placed on myself and have trained/conditioned others to place on me as well?
I feel pulled in so many directions that the stream of creativity has become nothing more than a few dried-up trickles. I’m no longer a united being; instead, I’ve become divided, a split personality without a unified mind.
Stand Still in the Storm
I’m reminded of Bible verses like “A house divided cannot stand (Matt. 12:25),” “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8),” and “Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision (separation, division) (Joel 3:14).” (See this post on my Substack about making decisions.) The Lord must be my unity. He must be the rock in my storm. A place to drop anchor and be safe in the tumult of the tempest.
The Lord will be my stay if I but only trust Him. He will direct and reorient my steps if I wait for Him in the storm. He will bring the calm, He will speak peace, He will still the waves. But I must make myself stand still with them. Only then will I see the salvation (deliverance) of the Lord! (Ex. 14:13).
The Lord must be my unity. He must be the rock in my storm. A place to drop anchor and be safe in the tumult of the tempest.
- me
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